I remember when I managed a care home ,a member of my staff came to me to complain that one of the resident's who had dementia had made a racist remark to her, she was very offended by it and it was down to me to sort out.
Which I did by explaining to the staff member I totally agreed with them being spoken to like that was unacceptable, and that we also had to remember that the resident had quite advanced dementia.
It reminded me of when you as an AC deliver an activity session that mid way through, you do at times, get hecklers. This can totally affect you, put you off, make you feel you inadequate etc.
You must remember that you cannot afford to take things personally and it's not meant meaningfully and also most importantly when someone has dementia they don't have full mental capacity.
I was delivering WW2 reminiscence session and it was going along fine, until I heard a lady say, 'What is that foreigner standing there, talking to me about the war!'. Everyone around her told her to be quiet but she kept saying it louder , I just continued for a while and then stopped the session and asked the lady what the problem was. She then proceeded to repeat herself and said; 'What are you a foreigner standing there, telling me about the war? I lived through it!'
I then responded without getting offended and said the following, ' First of all I am not a foreigner, but British born and bred. And yes, your absolutely right I did not live through the war but it is important for us to remember the sacrifice of what your generation of people did, so people like myself and my generation can learn and celebrate you, after all, your generation of people gave us the freedom we enjoy today. It is what makes us British.'
With that she shouted out to me ;'Well done, well said dear!'And the led a round of applause for me!
I started the session again and within five minutes she was shouting out what is that foreigner standing there telling me about the war!
I politely ignored her and continued with the session successfully. The lady had dementia and that episode is not uncommon for people who have dementia to repeat themselves and forget what has been said etc and ask the question again.
The point I am making is that as AC's we work in an environment with vulnerable people and you will always get your hecklers, even your fellow colleagues who should know better , it goes with the territory.
Rise above it and develop a thick skin and don't take anything personally and you will just keep on shining as you do!
Until next time keep being fabulous and shining brightly.
Love,
Ann Marie Lovejoy Bruce Kerr xx
www.lovejoycentre.co.uk
Come connect with me on face book at www.facebook.com/groups/lovejoycentregroup
